Another of me performing with Mystic Melange at Wisteria Summer Solstice 2009 (2)

Me performing with Mystic Melange at Wisteria Summer Solstice 2009 (1)

is processing, feeling grateful, and a loved. Ok, and a little mischievous.

is excited! An hour left of work, hour + 1\2 to load car, 3 hour drive & vacation begins!!!!

Stupid

I'm so stupid. M tried to friend me on Facebook and I went and looked at the pictures. He had a couple of pics of his wedding and his other children. He gave her a fucking wedding. yes the logical side of e ade its opinions known, "older, more mature...etc" Bla fucking bla. Seeing her in a wedding dress with him looking all happy was like a knife in the gut.

He did not have one single picture of OUR daughter up there. NOT ONE FUCKING PICTURE.

I'm so stupid

Butterflies and Cats

I love butterflies. In 1993 my family went to Big Bend national park (a culdara in the middle of a desert) in Texas after I graduated from high school. During the week there I got to go hiking, greet the sun from the edge of the culdara, ride horses, etc. I was in my element; absolute heaven. During one of my rides my very stubborn horse, Edward, decided he was going to stop right where he was no matter what I had to say about it. All of a sudden the bushes on either side of the narrow path erupted into a whirlwind of wings, golden orange and black. I was in the middle of a massive monarch migration. It made a huge impact on me leading me on a new spiritual path and reaffirming my transformation into the "adult" world. Watching the multicolored butterflies flying around and landing on me was just mesmerizing for me. Especially the massive numbers of bright blue Morphosis. They were everywhere. There were Monarchs there as well which brought back that wonderful memory of before. This was the high point of my day.



The low point was that I came home to find that Gaia has an abscess from a bite wound on her abdomen. Kyoe bit Gaia. I'm not sure I can keep Kyoe any more, even when he does get fixed. I do love the little skitterbug. But not sure I can keep on dealing with the constant bickering between the two cats. So I, yet again, have to find a home for a male tabby. And I have to somehow come up with money to treat Gaia should constant cleaning of the wound not suffice so that it will drain. The Princess is Gaia's human and Gaia is the Princess's best friend and familiar.

WTF

What is up with married men being drawn towa.rds me?? I swear this one dad was hitting on me last night, and then there is Mt. Man and the Flyer. I don't understand what the hell is going on.

I'm falling apart rather quickly it seems. I hope I can hold on until Wisteria.

Quote

There is a difference between being patient and waiting for something that is never going to happen.

- William